I recently find a lot of videos where young people share their opinion on how to live.
"Never give up doing what you're passionate about!" That's most of the videos message and that message dug itself deep into my believe.
I am so convinced that living your life to the full means pursuing your dreams to come to reality.
This whole thought made me do things I would never have thought of and keeps me thinking of new ways to go and to finally reach the goals I set for myself.
But God took me a long way to get here where I am today!
I grew up in a typical christian family. Praying before meals, be a nice person, don't do that and don't do that. I am the fourth boy of five, which means I had three brothers to look up to and one to stick with and to be together with as much as I could. I loved this, because I always knew how things went at school or everywhere else. I wanted to be as cool as them and so my desire to stick out of the "normal" crowd was there all the time.
I always wanted to be mature, like my brothers. I always wanted to be good in something, like my brothers. I always wanted to do what they did and I didn't want to be just a child.
So school was quite lame for me. It was all about learning and learning. I only went to school, to stay safe and be like my brothers, smart and awesome.
Then I came to a point to decide what to do after school and since I was a quite christian kid I went to youth group, because that's where you meet the other christian kids you usually hang out with and it was the place where I could start playing music and where I truely got to know a bit about God and all these things. I asked for prayer that God would tell me clearly where to go, but I didn't expect it. Failures and bad circumstances made my believe to be at the level of little above 0. I knew God could pull it of, but he would actually not really do that because he always did what I never wanted and expected.
To make a long story short, he answered in a quite clear way... I went to do something called a "Discipleship-Training-School" what is like a school to learn how to live in a good christian fashion.
I wanted to be the best and I always wanted to stand out, so I kept asking and I kept pursuing this dream to become the best. I wanted to learn how to heal, to prophecy or what ever you can think of...
Quite cool, ey?
But it actually changed me. It all changed me into someone seeking ways to get things done, to train better, to be more precise in the "words God spoke" to me for others...
Don't get me wrong, I truely learned a lot there, to work for my dreams, to do the bad jobs as well as the good ones, or to not think only about myself and so on.
It all changed me into a religious person. I saw ministry as work. I saw it as something to achieve something and gain favor from God. I did good because I wanted God to be happy about me to send me nice gifts I could enjoy to reach my goals, but I didn't saw what was truely important in all of that...
My own ministry went down because I couldn't finance my fulltime job as a missionary and so I had to find something new. All my dreams broke down like a card house.
I was searching, but I never found. I was seeking but it all turned cold again.
What wasthis God thinking? Have I been a bad person to fail like this?
I was starting to sense, that it all was about me, not about God. Jesus was giving me a lesson in how he wanted me to be. I started realising, that I was seeking a dream copied from others, that I was going the ways others went before, that I was trying soo hard that I truely would have missed something on the road.
My parents came to my help at a very crucial time. It was the time where I started getting to know my true self. They supported me so that I could go to an amazing school where I would learn about who I really am and what I really always wanted AND I learned about the most amazing one that changed my life!
I learned about Jesus! The true one and his works and his ways and everything about Him. Why he did all this to himself and what all of that means for me now. He truely lives in me! He will never leave me! He lives through me! He guides my way! He protects me! He is my strength! He is my comfort! He is my happiness!
Jesus is the fulfilling of my dreams! Jesus did everything for me to make my life absolutely amazing!
He took everything away that should have bothered me before! He made me see that this life is made by Him for me to enjoy, and only enjoy!
He took EVERYTHING bad away for me, the only thing I have to do is belive!
When I look back now, half a year gone already, I can see that I didn't understand what "to belive" really means. I can belive when every part of my being rejoices for the things that are about to come because of what is!
I belive, that Jesus lives throught me, that love lives through me now! It means, that I rejoice for the time where I can share this love with everyone I meet.
In other words: I rejoice in every day that is going to be without sin anymore, because love rules!
Because of that believe, that you can see in the rejoicing of your soul, the kingdom of God becomes reality in your life. It is true, you won't sin, because sin was defeated at the cross!
Only we become unsure about it and stop beliveing, we will come back into our bad habits.
One last thing:
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Find out what believe really means and you will see the amazingness of God more and more!
This is an amazing journey we all can be on together! Let's see where God wants to take us!
Enjoy it! Enjoy.
K
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