The power of us

I am currently recovering form a cold. The nasty kind, the one that takes all concentration away from you and your whole body seems to have been run over by a truck. But it also gives you time to reflect. You are not able to socialise, because you've got no voice, but you can reflect on everything surrounding you.

Today I was able to do a little bit of designing for a firend. I shared him my ideas and he gave feedback, sounds pretty normal right? This time I could enjoy this process so much more, because I was reflecting on the friendship I have with him and the stories we share. I was overcome by joy and thought that this state, I am in right now, is so weird. I feel kind of miserable and still I can feel the deepest joy. My situation sucks, but my view turns away from me, because I can't do anything else than recover right now. I see the amazing friends I have gotten to know over the years and the impact these friendships have on my life and also on others lifes.

I feel this joy right now, it somehow makes me want to share this feeling and because it does it spreads out. I hope that we as humans start to realise how much real friendships change for the better in this world. I have such a great community surrounding me, but I see so many people, who are alone and feel miserable. I want to be part of the change we can have in our society, by accepting everyone without conditions. I want to get to know people's stories to know what they've been through and I want to lift these burdens together. If there are even more who are willing to lift these burdens, it gets easier and easier. This is my way at dealing with depression and the sadness of this world. I can share joy because others reduce the weight of this world for me.

What if...

What if you are wrong?
What if the way you talk about God isn't as confident as it seems?
What if you are not as convinced that God really exists and you are just copying the things those people at the front preach?
What if you never really knew God from the heart, because the things you do was maore important than God himself?
What if you just misunderstood God the major way?
What if he just wants you to be who you are?
No tasks, no missions or anything to do for Him?
What if the way to live for God is so much easier than everyone says?
What if sin isn't the problem anymore, but your choice is?
What if God, loves you no matter what, no matter the time, no matter where you are and how deeply you love him?
What if you can't get any closer to him, because you wrapped inside of his arms?
Not far away, because you've sinned, close, because you did so?
What if he really is a father who loves you and never leaves your side?
What if he fights for you in your darkest hours?
What if he doesn't care what you will do or do, but who you are? His child!

Please stop trying to get close, be it!
Please stop trying to please him, he is!
Please stop trying to get better, you are!
Please stop trying to love him, you will!
Just accept, he is and was and forever will be....
L O V E !

pursuit of happiness (lifestory)

I recently find a lot of videos where young people share their opinion on how to live.
"Never give up doing what you're passionate about!" That's most of the videos message and that message dug itself deep into my believe.

I am so convinced that living your life to the full means pursuing your dreams to come to reality.
This whole thought made me do things I would never have thought of and keeps me thinking of new ways to go and to finally reach the goals I set for myself.
But God took me a long way to get here where I am today!

I grew up in a typical christian family. Praying before meals, be a nice person, don't do that and don't do that. I am the fourth boy of five, which means I had three brothers to look up to and one to stick with and to be together with as much as I could. I loved this, because I always knew how things went at school or everywhere else. I wanted to be as cool as them and so my desire to stick out of the "normal" crowd was there all the time.

I always wanted to be mature, like my brothers. I always wanted to be good in something, like my brothers. I always wanted to do what they did and I didn't want to be just a child.
So school was quite lame for me. It was all about learning and learning. I only went to school, to stay safe and be like my brothers, smart and awesome.

Then I came to a point to decide what to do after school and since I was a quite christian kid I went to youth group, because that's where you meet the other christian kids you usually hang out with and it was the place where I could start playing music and where I truely got to know a bit about God and all these things. I asked for prayer that God would tell me clearly where to go, but I didn't expect it. Failures and bad circumstances made my believe to be at the level of little above 0. I knew God could pull it of, but he would actually not really do that because he always did what I never wanted and expected.

To make a long story short, he answered in a quite clear way... I went to do something called a "Discipleship-Training-School" what is like a school to learn how to live in a good christian fashion.
I wanted to be the best and I always wanted to stand out, so I kept asking and I kept pursuing this dream to become the best. I wanted to learn how to heal, to prophecy or what ever you can think of...
Quite cool, ey?

But it actually changed me. It all changed me into someone seeking ways to get things done, to train better, to be more precise in the "words God spoke" to me for others...
Don't get me wrong, I truely learned a lot there, to work for my dreams, to do the bad jobs as well as the good ones, or to not think only about myself and so on.

It all changed me into a religious person. I saw ministry as work. I saw it as something to achieve something and gain favor from God. I did good because I wanted God to be happy about me to send me nice gifts I could enjoy to reach my goals, but I didn't saw what was truely important in all of that...

My own ministry went down because I couldn't finance my fulltime job as a missionary and so I had to find something new. All my dreams broke down like a card house.
I was searching, but I never found. I was seeking but it all turned cold again.
What wasthis God thinking? Have I been a bad person to fail like this?

I was starting to sense, that it all was about me, not about God. Jesus was giving me a lesson in how he wanted me to be. I started realising, that I was seeking a dream copied from others, that I was going the ways others went before, that I was trying soo hard that I truely would have missed something on the road.

My parents came to my help at a very crucial time. It was the time where I started getting to know my true self. They supported me so that I could go to an amazing school where I would learn about who I really am and what I really always wanted AND I learned about the most amazing one that changed my life!

I learned about Jesus! The true one and his works and his ways and everything about Him. Why he did all this to himself and what all of that means for me now. He truely lives in me! He will never leave me! He lives through me! He guides my way! He protects me! He is my strength! He is my comfort! He is my happiness!

Jesus is the fulfilling of my dreams! Jesus did everything for me to make my life absolutely amazing!
He took everything away that should have bothered me before! He made me see that this life is made by Him for me to enjoy, and only enjoy!
He took EVERYTHING bad away for me, the only thing I have to do is belive!

When I look back now, half a year gone already, I can see that I didn't understand what "to belive" really means. I can belive when every part of my being rejoices for the things that are about to come because of what is!
I belive, that Jesus lives throught me, that love lives through me now! It means, that I rejoice for the time where I can share this love with everyone I meet.
In other words: I rejoice in every day that is going to be without sin anymore, because love rules!

Because of that believe, that you can see in the rejoicing of your soul, the kingdom of God becomes reality in your life. It is true, you won't sin, because sin was defeated at the cross!
Only we become unsure about it and stop beliveing, we will come back into our bad habits.

One last thing:
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Find out what believe really means and you will see the amazingness of God more and more!

This is an amazing journey we all can be on together! Let's see where God wants to take us!
Enjoy it! Enjoy.
K

Let's worship

While writing the last post, I saw that the topic of worship is absolutely linked to the last one.

I was asked a couple of times to lead worship at some places, but I always said that I don't do this kind of worship anymore. Maybe it's time to explain you why.

I'm living in a relationship with Jesus and in this relationship I want to be truely myself.

I always thought, that I truely worship Jesus through playing guitar and singing songs.

Well I still love to do that, but I haven't found a way, yet, to lead people in this new style of worship I discovered.

Jesus loves me, takes care of me. He truely made my life absolutely awesome and showed me that I don't have to worry anymore and that I can be who I truely am.

I would say that worship comes from the heart and I think that worship can take place everywhere to everytime and even can be there for a very long time and I'm talking about months or years.

Worship is the outpouring of hearts for someone. It means it can't be created, it can't be prepared.
Worship happens!

Jesus lead me through the darkest times to show me religion and finally he brought me to a true relationship.

I think that worship is brought to Jesus out of pure love that is developing through realising and believing who God is and what he has done and then the whole container overflows with love and this will happen in the way you feel it. You WILL not care about what others think, you WILL just worship.
Worship is overflow and nothing else!

You can't worship without being full with love for Jesus...
...but I can release you! You don't have to, because Jesus loved you first and always will!

It's not our duty to love and worship God!

He just said: belive in meand what I've done!

Worship happens! And it happens, the way you are.

When you are happy about Gods creation, worship is there, because you give him praise through your feelings. When you play guitar, and what ever you play, worship is there, because you do something God created you for, using your God given gifts.

Worship happens, where you are who you truely are, because that's how God made you...

...and you are made perfectly, awesome, beautiful, nice, kind... everything good you can think of.

(I think there is another topic... Identity, but that's for another post)

Truely worship is something you can't make up. It's something, that comes from inside of you true being.
Get to know and believe God and you will overfolw.

In this way... Enjoy.

Well, it's about life or death!

I recently had an amazing conversation.
It was all about believing. Living on the right side and all that stuff.
This one is for all those who have hard times to believe that the life on the bright side is the right thing to do and actually even more than this... :)

I just want to give you a picture that's quite drastic...
Think of the two sides, the Devils side and Jesus side... sounds like a lot you heared before...
But I bring this to the top of it!
You have to decide in your life where you want to be, on the dark side or on the bright side.
But here is this:

This decision shouldn't be that hard if you're looking at these two ways to live.

You can decide to live in fear, terror, pain, hard situations and just desert all the time which is the life you live in darkness. It's pure pain. It is death, the absence of happiness. It's a life that never will feel complete.

And...
You can decide to live in happiness with Christ inside of you. Jesus living right through you, as a son of God, pure and holy. Living in the state of complete forgiveness grants you the possibility to live in everlasting life.
Life is not the thing you do on this earth. Life is to live in completion, without any fear that will break you down or living in happiness that will NEVER be taken away from you.

I think you get that this decision is actually pretty easy if you look at it this way.

But how does all that happiness work?
Well, there will be no 10 point plan I will give you, it's just about beliving, trusting in the sacrifice, the grace of God and your identity you have since the day of salvation.

God is absolutely happy to be with you all the time of your life, he can't be taken away from you. The curtain, that separated us from the holy of holies, was cut after Jesus was crucified, which means the holy of holies is open for everyone, which is the presence of God.
When we start to BELIVE he turely gives the best for us, we can live without fear.
We will live a life without worries, because the one who cares about us is God, the crator of the universe.
When we believe all this and live inside of this knowledge we will get happy and worship God more and more. We will be truely happy when we truely stop looking on our dayly problems and start believing that Jesus cares and that EVERYTHING we are going through is for our best, we wil stop having headaches.

Even when we forget something, or we do something wrong, Jesus takes care of us! What a relief!!!!!!

You see, this is why I belive in Jesus and I'm already starting to ban bad thoughts and habits from my life, because I see that it's worth living in joy made by Jesus!
This joy will increase every day, get ready!

In this way... enjoy.

Art and the way we live

Hey there,
Just recently I started my studies for a creative job and for me as someone who lives with christ in an art environment, I am confronted with lots of questions.
In wich way can I live my creative lifestyle that God loves it? How should I implement my believes?

I have always been a creative person and I needed something like writing, drawing or music to express myself. I needed it to let it out. Sometimes I just wanted to draw some cool creatures or I wanted to scream in a metal band, but there was always the thought of not fitting into Gods thoughts there. I thought he wouldn't like what I'm doing.

These last weeks gave me a lot of time to think about it agiain, again and again.
I came to one interesting point... Let's look at art itself. What is the nature oft art?
Art is expression of the things we experience, that we see, dream or feel.
God is the first ever artist to me. He created it because he wanted to share and he loved us soo much and made us perfect (or does God make any failures :) ). He was and is expressing his love and joy for us through all the cool things on earth, think of these crazy skies that always change and have the most crazy formed clouds in it, or look at sparkling snow in the sun and soooo much more.
He made it for us to enjoy it or feel as well. Art makes us come alive sometimes or gives us interesting perspectives at things.

I use my art to release my fantasies, the thoughts spinning in my head, making me think too much.
All the good and bad thoughts need to be released, because I am somebody who feels the urge to share.
I don't need to necesserily show it to others, but the release comes by putting it into art form.

So my art will look the way I experience things, or the way my thoughts look like to me. It can be that you may see a picture that looks totally dark, or evil and then there is this next one totally beautiful and warm.
And there is the point where I always struggled.
Can I really draw that, what I feel like drawing right now? Can I scream because it feels right to scream it into the world to give it more power? Or is all that something evil, God doesn't like...

I thought about this quite a long time, because I always heared the thoughts about this kind of art. "Well maybe there is the devil inside..." or "Does that reflect Gods personality?"
Well I totally found out, that at this point it's not about God at all. It's about me and my feelings, experiences, thoughts. It's about my special way of living, my special way of enjoying or disliking. It's about expressing MYSELF.
I totally believe that God wants us to be real and that's why he wants us to also pour out our heart on paper, scream our loungs out to shout a message into this world or do what ever we like to do to express our innerest beeing, the point we are standing at right now.

In art, it's not about wrong or right, it's about yourself and only yourself. be authentic in your art, but of course also in your daily life, because that's what God wants from you. Don't let anyone tell you, the way you express is wrong.

I see so many people trying to be something they are not, especially in church, because we often tend to put the devil into things, that are actually amazing parts of this special perfect made individual.

I could say these next sentences a thousand times:
When the personal way of yours, to express yourself, feels natural and just flows out of you, then NEVER EVER let this be taken away from you!
Don't let others judgement change the art you bring.

Doing something for God?

Something really interesting came up to me the last couple of weeks. I was talking to many young people about life and future. Sometimes I felt it, the hopelessness. Finding the meaning of your own life can be so tearing. There are so many possibilities in our time, many different ways we can go and the support of other shrinks, because they are busy on their own. It's all about being busy, doing something, otherwise you're worthless, is that so?

I think that's something that makes us stay in this rushing mood all of our life and that's what makes us miss the real joy. You see God really longs for your heart! I don't mean that he likes being with you some days, I mean he is jealous. I think he is the most jealous person ever, but it's not that jealousy that breaks the other person involved. He wants you to feel, enjoy and take part of his glory and love.
He wants to give you from his amazing wealth, but we always try to drag us out of the swamp on our own...
That's the deserts we face, when we try to get out on our own, when we put all our strengh into something that God could change with the snip of his finger, instantly powerful.

I think God is not looking for people who work for him, but he is looking for people who love him.
Compare this to a real good friendship you have. When you love a person you do things for him/her easily, not because you have to, but you want to and that's the way Jesus wants you to do things. Can you really say that you want to do all the things you do freely or is it the voice inside you telling you when you don't do it, you will be a bad friend...
Where lies our focus here? Do we try to be a good friend to God, or do we let Jesus love us and out of fulfillment comes the loving him?
He loved us first! He gives us the strength to love him. We will never bring Jesus to love us, or give us anything. He will give it out of love in the times of intimacy, in these time you recognize him alone. He is here, always!

How do we let Him love us, you might ask. It's quite simple! Enjoy!
It's about enjoying Gods eternal presence, the glory that's here already. The things he already gave us in this world. We really should enjoy his creation.
The cool thing about enjoying something is, that we will never be able to make ourselves to enjoy!
Well, but that's the only way we will truely be able to serve God out of love...

Haha, you see, there will be no way we can do something in this world on our own. Freedom is given to us in the times we enjoy HIM! Works will be set free out of a stage of completely enjoying HIM! Finances, possibilities to do something, fulfillment of our dreams will come out of enjoying HIM!
We can't do a thing for all that! He wants to give, but we don't get it. We think, that we will get more out of working for HIM...
Just enjoy HIS amazingness, awesomeness, beauty, wealth, or whatever you can think of he is.
HE IS GOOD!